Welcome to Project ROL, an online graphic novel. Please note that the story contains Biblical references that are NOT intended to offend any particular religious groups or persons.
| by Choko @ 01 January 2008 08:45 pm |
| yay first!
I like this new page, and I specially like Yasu's cute outfit <3 by the way, I think that the background in this page looks better than in the previous pages. Good job :) And oh the tension! I wonder if Yasu will be able to see God...? However, I don't think so... she wasn't able before. |
| by Jason @ 01 January 2008 09:53 pm |
| Thank you very much for the comment! And also thank you for helping me bring life to my otherwise dead forums ^_^ This is most activity its had in almost a year now XD |
| by Choko @ 01 January 2008 10:45 pm |
| No problem! It's been fun ^^ I enjoy your comic, so it's the least I could do.
I hope more people will join :D |
| by Hortaux @ 02 January 2008 03:04 am |
| Still diggin' the new coloring style. :D And Yasu's (the nonGod version) new outfit--- she looks /much/ cuter than the previous design and God.
One thing... shouldn't 'awaken' be 'awoken'? |
| by The Muffin Overlord @ 02 January 2008 05:10 pm |
| haha.
Yasu's got CLAW HAND!! RAARRRRRR!!! THE CLAW! |
| by Cook!3 @ 02 January 2008 09:44 pm |
| Yay! Finally finished reading it(so far)!
Characters need a bit of development, and you have really based your first part on suspense(which I can't say is a completely good thing...nor bad...) but for a beginning artist, you're doing great. This page, be sure to correct your grammer. It would be "awoken"-past tense, agreeing with have- and not "awaken". Another thing, about the first couple of pages, "God" uses the word "sadist" and its variants alot. That can get to be a bit annoying, and you should probably try looking in a thesaurus or a dictionary to find other descriptions/names that she might call him. For example, one of the times she acuses him of sadism, you might change it to "masochism". Thanks. |
| by Kojiki @ 03 January 2008 01:51 am |
| Masochism is the opposite of Sadism... it'd be saying 'you enjoy BEING hurt' not you enjoy hurting. I dunno if there are many actual synonyms for Sadism...
Also, nice new page, Yasu's new costume is sweet :D |
| by Sitrel @ 03 January 2008 03:21 pm |
| Ooohhh I like Yasu's new Cosume, though i don't think you should make it permanent. |
| by Jason @ 04 January 2008 10:32 am |
| Thanks to all the "Awaken/Awoken" corrections. I fixed it...but you may have to refresh your browser to see it.
And I appreciate all the comments. I'll keep everything said into consideration on future pages. |
| by pretty_blossom @ 04 January 2008 01:51 pm |
| Nice outfit for Yasu, although for some reason I keep thinking she should wear blue...
to Cook!3 - I don't think one should look up different words just for the sake of different words. Each character has its own talking style, and they don't necessarily have a large vocabulary. Masocism is not synonimous with sadism, so maybe u should look up a thesaurus first. I remember somebody telling me about this old book of writing rules that stated that indeed writers should avoid using the same word twice, and then the whole thing sounded ridiculous. A writer should remember that the characters need to be realistic and speak like real people, and real people don't use all the words they know just to avoid repeating themselves. |
| by pretty_blossom @ 04 January 2008 02:01 pm |
| BTW - the actual word Sadistic is only used once in the prologue, so u might want to pick another example. |
| by MikaylaAria @ 04 January 2008 05:08 pm |
| Aww~
Yasu's new out fit looks so cute!! You just wanna hug her... And I love God's expressions. ...*praise* |
| by Me @ 04 January 2008 07:58 pm |
| It's getting much better, but aside from art and plot, I hope the characters develop nicely. That's the main down fall of most comics. |
| by jenny_rockus @ 05 January 2008 07:58 pm |
| i really like the new art! I'm excited to see what happens next. |
| by Loki Fenrisulf @ 05 January 2008 11:01 pm |
| I agree, she does look cute with those new clothes, but I don't think she should keep them permanently, I think it's weird that in most comics people wear the same clothes forever, specially a winter clothe like this one - but knowing you she probably won't, so ignore this. |
| by Dark Bunny @ 06 January 2008 06:45 pm |
| Sorry, i like the old coloring style better. You were quite good at it. However, the backgrounds are now quite pretty. I suggest you combine the two. The artist of Inverloch and the Phoenix Requiem does that. You should check it out. |
| by Null @ 07 January 2008 05:08 am |
| The backgrounds do look a lot better with the new style I think.
Am I seeing things or does God have two eyebrows? :P |
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